Extraction to Infection . Part 2
Welcome back to the next part of my journey. If you haven't read Part 1, I encourage you to start there to understand how a routine wisdom teeth extraction turned into a severe infection and hospitalization.
In Part 1, I detailed the initial surgery, the worsening pain, and the first emergency procedure that didn't fully resolve the issue. Despite undergoing surgery to drain the infection, the complications persisted, leading to my transfer to a larger academic hospital. Here, I’ll continue the story of how things progressively got worse.
Preparing for Surgery
The day felt weird and too quiet. In the afternoon, the doctors came to explain that due to “plain old” gravity, the infection had started to spread from my jaw to my neck. They were preparing another operating room, and since I wasn’t able to eat anyway, I could be called in at any moment. So, I had to wait until they picked me up.
Waiting for the surgery felt like an eternity. The quietness around me only heightened my anxiety. My mom was there with me, and she was allowed to accompany me in the elevator to the floors where the operating rooms are located (perks of having a mom who works in the same hospital). We said our goodbyes, and they brought me into the room where patients are prepared for surgery. It was a very large and white clinical space with one desk where an employee was working and one person who had just come out of the operating room and was still unconscious. The cold, sterile environment made the whole situation feel even more daunting.
This is when I started to panic because everything felt off. It was cold, makes sense since an operating space is very cold, but the whole energy was off. Very 12th house-y, by the way. The doctor came up to me and sat on my bed, and if there's one thing I never trusted, it's when a doctor sits on your bed to talk to you: that means business ...
An Unusual Procedure
She began to explain their plan. Typically, they put you under anesthesia to intubate you afterward. This ensures you don’t feel anything during the procedure. In case you're unfamiliar, intubation is when they insert a breathing tube through your mouth or nose all the way to your lungs to regulate your breathing during surgery. In my case, they were concerned that if they put me under anesthesia first, the swelling in my throat would lose its shape due to the relaxing of the muscles, making it difficult to intubate me. This meant my airways could be blocked, and I might not even make it into surgery.
Yeah... Mind you, this was a shift from an infection due to a tooth extraction to the risk of dying if I didn’t participate in this sequel of the movie Saw. This was the perfect recipe for a panic attack, but there was no turning back, and I had to let it happen. It was either that or God knows what...
The operating room was ready, and when I was brought in, there were probably 15 people in the room. I mean, it’s an academic hospital, so there are usually a lot of students, but this was crazy in my oh so humble opinion. It was just weird being brought into the room with 10+ people staring at you, knowing what was about to happen. The door closed, and they began with a check. Everyone was listed and mentioned by name and function. Most were involved in my surgery, and the rest were there as observers.
Honestly, I don’t even know where my head was at that moment. I was too shocked to fully function, I guess. The procedure was about to start, and they were going to apply a numbing spray to my nose so it wouldn’t be “that” bad in the beginning. The surgeon had already mentioned this when they came to my bed earlier. And of course, I had to joke about it, saying that the spray wouldn’t do anything because it wouldn’t reach my lungs. I was instructed to tilt my head back to straighten my airways as much as possible, and they said that once the tube was in place, they would immediately put me under anesthesia so I’d be out "quick".
The Silence
I’ll never forget the moment it began. Even with all those people around, it was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I was tied to the OR bed, and multiple people were standing close by. I don’t know if they were there to offer support or ready to intervene if I was about to throw hands. Maybe both. Who knows. But in my recollection, you could see in their eyes that this was not a regular way to start a surgery. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to do anything else but "just" let it happen. I followed instructions and tilted my head backward. I received that little spray and was told to relax as much as possible.
There are no words to describe what I felt. It hurt... Bad... I had to cry and had to let it happen. That’s weird, but it was for my own health and safety. During the process to reach my lungs, there's a moment when they needed to pass my vocal cords. That was the moment when I was unable to make any noise anymore, and I went from crying like a little baby to utter silence. It’s so weird because you hear yourself screaming in your head, yet unable to make a sound. That honestly messes with your head. I don’t know how to put it into words, but I have never felt so silenced in my life.
With my eyes full of tears and a tube from nose to lungs, I heard an “Ok.” As promised, they gave me the anesthesia. They counted, and before they reached 10, I was knocked the fuck out.
Post-Surgery Complications
Things took a sharp turn after surgery number 2. The infection, stemming from the body's own bacteria in the mouth, proved to be quite a menace as it migrated elsewhere. According to the doctors, there was nothing unusual during the extraction procedures, and no additional precautions could have prevented the infection. Talk about luck, right? I often say, "If I do something, I’ll go above and beyond!" Well, that was certainly the case here. I was admitted to the ICU with the initial plan to be monitored for just one day, as per standard procedure. But that day passed swiftly without the desired results. The infection had once again spread, this time from my neck to my chest—good ol' gravity at work. It progressed rapidly, and given its rarity (once every two years, each time in a different body part), there wasn't a predefined protocol to follow if things deviated from the initial plan.
I was heavily sedated and medicated, although not fully comatose. Later, I learned that I was “awake” for about 15 minutes per day. That's all. It felt like those fleeting moments when you wake up in the middle of the night for a sip of water or a trip to the toilet. Looking back, the surreal “Where am I?” thoughts were very real. I mean, that's the whole point of sedation—altering your consciousness and perception of reality for your own well-being, for the comfort of the patient, and for the staff to provide better care. And let me tell you, being hooked up to a ventilator and in excruciating pain is definitely a good reason to knock someone out. Trust me!
Fun fact: I was actually posing for the photo, haha! So even though it looks pretty intense, know that I was just goofing around in that moment.
The Uncertainty
There's a Dutch saying: “Dweilen met de kraan open,” which translates to: “Mopping the floor while the tap is open.” That's exactly how it felt with the infection—a raging fire. The medical team conducted continuous testing to find the right antibiotics. However, when the antibiotics arrived, they didn’t quite do the trick, so it was back to the drawing board. The doctors found themselves essentially back at square one. They assured that they would exhaust every option to keep me alive, but unfortunately, they couldn't guarantee my recovery. That was when my then circle spoke about not knowing my wishes in case my life were to end. I mean, death had never been this close, and I had never discussed my wishes regarding such matters. There hasn’t even been a slight thought through my mind before. And I was too far gone to have that conversation in that moment with them, because I was in between worlds. Somewhat aware of reality, but also very aware of other realities, places and spaces.
That is something I’ll go more into detail about in upcoming part 3. Right before we're going to discuss the planetary influences of that moment in part 4.
Thank you for taking the time, and see you in the next. ❤️